Under Siege (1992)*

He's a cook. No, wait, he's a Navy SEAL. Whatever he is, he appears to be killing terrorists, so he's okay in my book. Directed by Andrew Davis.

Probably the best of the Steven Seagal movies (which isn't really saying that much), it's still a lot of fun to watch. The basic premise is that Steven Seagal, a lowly cook on board the USS Missouri, is in fact a Navy SEAL. Which wouldn't mean much, especially considering that this is the Missouri's last voyage, except that Tommy Lee Jones and Gary Busey have concocted a daring plan to take over the Missouri and steal its nuclear weapons.

Thankfully Seagal teams up with a spunky stripper and proceeds to kill off all of the terrorists (it's not really clear where they came from - because there's a lot, and it seems a lot more than could fit onto the helicopter that ferries them in). As the suits back in DC sweat over what to do, Seagal does what he does best: squints into the camera, and with hushed tones, karate chops the hell out of people. He saves the day and gets the girl (I guess - she's not really developed much as a character).

If Die Hard took place on a ship, and wasn't as good, it would be this movie. It's certainly not any sort of brain intensive film, but it is fun to watch, especially because Tommy Lee Jones seems to be enjoying himself (yeah, he overacts, but this is the perfect vehicle for it). Seagal is squinty and talks with a whisper, but whatever. And the use of the battleship is well done - it's almost a character unto itself.